Archive for August 9th, 2006

You Could Have a Steam Train…

Posted by Matt on August 9th, 2006

Life Lesson #1- Trying to open anything in this universe with a sledgehammer is probably a bad idea. Amendment A- Unless that “anything” is a watermelon. Amendment B- Amendment A only applies to you if you are noted comedian Gallagher, which you are probably not. Life Lesson #2- Somtimes Headlines just write themselves.

Some People Call Him Maurice

Posted by Matt on August 9th, 2006

Former The Ohio State star running back Maurice Clarett was pulled over early this morning for leading the police on high speed chase. When the cops finally pulled him over they had to mace Clarett in order to subdue him. Why? Because the taser was rendered ineffective by the BULLET PROOF VEST he was wearing. [...]